Oh, How I am missing my dear precious Jordan, especially after I picked this photo of him! I believe Megan and Alley were calling him to the Rainbow Bridge on Monday April 16, 2009.
You know I found he had tumors on his lungs two weeks ago and I knew in my heart I would have to part with him soon but I had no idea it would be this soon. He had just had the 3 1/2 pill day break for 14 days of the Prednisone to help him feel better and Tuesday would have been only 2 pills, but later that morning I heard a caa-motion in the kitchen where he had been lying behind me while I was on the computer. I just had walked to the sofa to see something with my husband when we both heard what??? Oh, I walked back and saw him seizing, so I ran to him to hold him as still as I could. It lasted way to long as my husband called the vet's office to know what to do. He got the Vet owner of the clinic on the phone and he told us NOT to try and hold Jordan’s tongue, that he would NOT try to swallow it, so I then concentrated on his shaking legs and got my lips to his ear, to please not leave me. I had felt like I was telling him what I hear with Emma's squeaky toy purse that says,
" I love you, I love you, over and over.
My daughter came over to get Emma while we took him to the vet and she told him her goodbye as we knew immediately this was it and we could not allow this to happen again. She helped us get him onto a quilt and get him to the car. I rode in the back with him while he continued having seizures. I whispered and talked to him the whole way to try and calm and relax him. I don’t know how much he knew what was happening, I hope not much as he has always been so frightened by and sensitive to strange happenings.
When we got there about a 40-minute ride, they were waiting on us, and came to the car with a stretcher to take him inside. They immediately started a Valium IV to try and relax him. He also had 104 fevers so they sprayed alcohol on his paws pads to cool him. It all just confirmed to me that he was shutting down. I had to let him go.
Oh, but I am not ready, Yes, I am, I can’t be selfish to keep him. They said it was unusual for a dog to have seizures that long. It has been going on two hours now. The Valium was taking effect and he was settling down. I was on the floor laying beside him, they asked if we wanted privacy to move to a room as we were out in the middle of the clinic floor with all the Vet Doctors and staff working around us. I said I didn't care so they moved us to the ultrasound room, He was on the table and we had two stools that we could sit in and still be by him. I laid my head on his ear and continued to talk to him. Tell him Megan and Alley were waiting for him to show him around the Rainbow Bridge and it was time for him to join with them.
I told him he would be ok and in no pain, be able to breathe good again. The vet who was seeing him Dr. Campbell asked if we wanted to stay. Of course we did, how could it be any other way? He told us some families don't. Well, this family does and I have regret for years that my first cat, the Vet would not let me be with him.
I think it would be so much more comforting to have their owner who loves them near and not with strangers. I guess everyone has their reason.
I also ask for an envelope and some scissors as I wanted a lock of his hair, He had the most beautiful reddish golden hair, long and silky. DR. Campbell cut it for me and we took off his collar. We asked that he be cremated like Megan was and wanted the paw print made in cement. He said they did that before he was picked up. How nice! This clinic is so good to the families who bring their animals in. They treat everyone with so much respect!
When we got home later that evening, My DH had to go to work in the clothes he was in, just to be there, your dog dying is not an excuse they accepted to be grieving that day. The damm Supervisor just goes on home like he does every day! Isn’t it the supervisor’s responsibility to be there if the employee isn't? NOT! In government, it sucks!
When we got home with Emma, she went to see where Jordan had been in the kitchen and smelled everywhere. Where was he? In more thinking, you know, She has never been without him by her side. Not in the 8 months since we got her! So now, she is throwing up and disarray. It may be the stress of missing him. Where is he is bed at night. She had had made a practice of moving up his pillow long ago and he slept more at the end of the bed since she moved in. He gave her her way. The same way he did Megan. He just let them have what they wanted and took what was leftover. But, he always had me, and I always tried to make him feel special. He has been with us almost 12 years, we got him one week after we got Megan and he grieved when we lost her last spring. Now, they are together again. Glory Be!
But, I still miss him with all my heart and soul, there will never be another Jordan in my life, he was so special and brought me so much love and joy.
In Spirit Jordan, I will always love you.
Blessings
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Part Two , My Letter from the Rainbow Bridge founder when I lit Jordan's candle:
Dear Cyndi,
This note is to confirm your request for a Monday Night Candlelight Tribute listing for your precious Jordan at RainbowsBridge.com
The posting has been placed on the Tribute List for this upcoming Monday Night's Ceremony, March 23, 2009 at 10 pm Eastern Time.
To visit the Tribute List go to:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/CandleLighting_Tribute/Tribute_Room.aspx.
The online ceremony takes place in the Monday Night Candlelighting room at:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/CandleLighting_Tribute/Monday_Candlelighting.htm
To visit the Monday Night Candlelighting Ceremony Home Page go to:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/CandleLighting_Tribute/default.htm
Know that grief is not measured in time but when the heart is dry of tears and your mind comes to acceptance, you will begin to heal. Meanwhile, you are not alone.
My prayers are with you Cyndi. We are here for you should you need support.
Blessings,
Ginny
Ginny (Fificat) Brancato
Founder - Rainbowsbridge.com
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http://www.petloss.com/
http://www.rainbowbridge.com/
http://www.rainbowbridge.com/CandleLighting_Tribute/default.htm
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